A Whole Two Months in the Holy Land

You can only find Dr. Pepper in Jerusalem and Ginger Ale costs an exorbitant amount of Shekels. Why?

Lost in Translation is promoted in Israel as Lost in Tokyo, completely and ironically mis-translating a movie whose title refers to missed translations!

Well, I've made it exactly two months in Israel.

All the little things that bug me about Israel are very apparent. Sometimes I visibly get pissed off or burst into hysterics at the antics of Israelis - some of whom are walking stereotypes or just generally weird.

I come from America, New York, specifically - a place that everyone wants to pretend they come from. Israelis constantly tell me they wish they were in New York, or at least from NY - and plenty wear more NYC-logo clothing than I ever saw in NY. And so it is very amusing, and sometimes annoying to witness people trying to imitate what I left behind.

I go out with a bunch of Israelis the other night and the guy, a friend of a friend, orders a Bacardi Breezer. Saddened to find out the bar doesn't carry this new, feminine drink, he settles for an Absolut Ice.

When Zima is the national alcoholic beverage of choice you know the country's got problems.

I'm hoping that in Israel when a girl takes your number she actually intends to use it - unlike women any other place I've ever been.

I think even after I've been here for 10 years I'll still be a "recent immigrant."

When people recognize the American accent in my fluently spoken Hebrew they start talking in English - either to show off their English, practice their English or as a "courtesy" to me. But I am fluent in Hebrew and take their language transition as an insult. So I continue talking in Hebrew and they in English. In my mind this often-occurring phenomena is straight out of Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm and I see it as a battle of wills from which I won't shrink.

Teach Israelis a fun English word and they'll love you for ever. The most recent examples of this are the words FOAM and AMBIDEXTROUS.

I promise to try blogging more often.