Nice is Not Nice...

I think I am above-average when it comes to the amount of new people I meet in the normal course of my life. Various hobbies, organization involvements and the many ways I meet people through the Internet lead me to constant have to introduce myself to people and go through the chore of getting to know others and sharing myself.

The sheer amount of times I find myself "getting to know someone" sometimes astounds me. This has had a few interesting affects on how I share myself with others and interact with "new people."

I have been forced to ponder many things about myself and make understandable things about myself. This includes why I moved to Israel (which requires an hour to discuss), what I do for a living (which has never been easy to describe since I don't do traditional jobs), what I want out of life, what my thoughts on Israel are, what traits I'm looking for in a partner, and many other topics.

Some things have become completely abstracted and sound like I'm pressing play on a tape recorder. Try saying the same thing 100 times and you'll see what I mean. Now, try saying a 30 minute opinion on something important 100 times and you'll really see what I mean.

The words and opinions lose all meaning. This is similar to the classic tale of centuries-old disputes between tribes where the actual reasons for the rivalries have been lost to history yet fighting continues. I honestly can't remember the reasons or incentives for some of the things I spout with confidence sometimes. I know that at some point I thoughtfully crafted the opinion... but after repeating it so often without emotion or commitment (i.e "here we go again....") its actual meaning has been lost.

The inspiration for this entry was my trying to explain what I seek in women. Sure there is the standard tape recorded answer I give but, for whatever reason, I allowed myself to actually think about the words I was saying. The person I was talking to was trying to set me up with someone and couldn't grasp my response.

Whereas he insisted that the girl is nice and that I should go out with her, I was completely turned off and tried explaining why the word "nice" is abhorrent to me.

Nice is boring. Plain. Vanilla. Bland. I don't want to have a relationship with a piece of cardboard. Similarly, I don't want to be with a girl whose dominant trait, as defined by how others describe her, is nice. What the hell is nice? Why would anyone want to be with someone who is nice? The word itself just screams of boredom.

While its true that most of the girls I've been in relationships with have looked basically similar (an oedipal can of worms I will not go into now, or ever!!), their personalities have greatly differed. From responsible, upstanding adults to flaky, fiery, lustful sirens.

What I really seek are women who oozes that unique, determined and ever-present spark of flammable life-goo that propels them through life, challenges, adventures and spontaneous flights of fancy and which leaves an indelible mark on all those they come in contact with.

Nice is not only boring, it is forgettable, it is content. I left New York because I was content and I don't want to be with anyone who is content. As a result, I try saying "no" as little as possible because "no" is also a part of being nice - "no, thanks, I'm ok, just fine, thank you sir." Yes is open to new ideas and offers. Yes is a willingness to do something dangerous, regrettable and even foolish. Yes is a thirst for inspiration in whatever form it may come.

Similar to my opinions on "nice," I wouldn't want to be with anyone who seems too polite. You know what polite is? Polite is a waste of time. Polite is a lack of interest in life, truth and experience.

Sure, its important to not going around insulting people but I don't even want to address that. I hate using "slippery slope" as a reason for anything. When taken to the extreme anything is bad (even eating disorders). Obviously I am not against basic courtesy between human beings. I am referring to the over-politeness that affects too many people and alters our expectations and standards of appropriateness.

With the said, politeness is a waste of time. I don't want to be with someone who wastes time being nice and polite. That is fake, uninteresting and means more of a devotion to cushioning life than living life.

So there you have it - I hope this has helped all of you who are getting to know me and read my journal in order to do so - giving you an unfair advantage as we get to know each other. My journal has forced to be more honest and I really do enjoy the affects it has had on me. This certainly clears the fog of tape-recorded answers to questions and forces me to simply be honest - since anyone can log on and see what I wrote when I had more time to address an issue. This dedication to honesty also makes me more confident in my self since "its all out there/here" for people to see, like it or not, cutting through a lot of the polite niceties of burgeoning relationships.

Can you hip-to-hip? Rock it through the wilderness!