Dear Jacob,

Today is your birthday. You're a whole year older than you were yesterday. Maybe one day you'll stop counting your birthday according to a dead carpenter's birth but for right now it's hard to get out of your head the simple beauty of the symmetry of a 10/10 birthday.

Your birthdays have usually been sad occasions, waiting to see who'll remember (it's such an easy thing to remember anyway! 10/10!), not wanting to remind people and secretly hoping people forget so you can continue your self-fulfilling prophecy of sad birthdays. Last year you had the first birthday "party" since your bar mitzvah. You had to organize it but many people showed up to help you celebrate.

However, dwelling on how few people really love you, you've already calculated the low number of people from that party who have checked in with you since your move to Israel. You're also sure (or masochistically hoping) that few of them will wish you a happy birthday this year.

You spent your entire life in NY, up to 9.5 months ago, and have a decent amount of friends to show for it (although many moved away). Even though your first visit "back home" turned out somewhat sadder than expected, you learned some important lessons. The next trip back (from Thanksgiving to Festivus) will go much differently. You'll be in town longer and will have swallowed the lessons of the first trip. Heck, they'll even be some new friends in NY to spend time with (how you move to Israel but make more friends - and good, special friends - in NY is pretty funny, ironic and sad).

By now you've managed to settle into a new phase of your move to Israel. A comfortable, content phase. You have the next year planned out and know exactly what you're doing. No surprises. Even though it has only been 9.5 months, you already know for certain that your move to Israel will last at least 2 years - an accomplishment not to be overlooked.

You have a stable job with good people, earn decent money, have begun to build a respectable business network (for any future entrepreneurial adventures) and you continue to learn about Israeli culture and improve your mastery of Hebrew. Perhaps the final piece of the "content puzzle" is a stable, long-term girlfriend with even longer-term potential. You know what that means and you know you're ready for all that entails (even if others don't).

Aside from friends, things seem pretty ok right now in your life. Friends have always been an issue. You were never one for having many friends and always preferred to have fewer people close to you. Those few solid connections you cherish and nurture instead of just haphazardly adding new friends to your life like a baseball card collection. Nothing wrong with that.

Even though things seem ok, and you don't think it'll happen, you are smart enough to know your naive optimism won't last forever. Yes, even you will one day grow cynical, tired and jaded from your current zealous Zionism. When that happens, here are a few things to keep in mind:

You moved to Israel for deeply personal, important reasons. There are many. Even if some become irrelevant there are still others. And we all know that all the reasons you've given and made public don't cover all your motivations. Don't forget that.

Everything is a learning experience and Israel will always be a wonderful place to learn, grow, challenge yourself and be in the "thick of things."

Don't start over-romanticizing New York (the only other place you'd ever consider living). It is the most amazing place in the world and you can't imagine anyone not wanting to live there or leave there once they do. But you left NY for good reasons that won't be set aside so quickly. You'll always be able to visit but would never want to be another statistic or party joke. So if you decide to move back, make sure it is for the right reasons and not some temporary disheartening and disappointment with Israel (of which you know you've had and would have in NY).

Life is a series of phases. Think of it as different chapter in your autobiography. Just because one may come to an end doesn't mean others can't be written from Israel as well.

So snap out of it. Don't be sad. Everyone knows your birthday wouldn't have been much more exciting if you were in NY right now.

Happy birthday Jacob.

Sincerely,

Jacob